Dating Liberation

John Gutekunst | February 11, 2018

17-25 Minute Read

Dating Liberation

John Gutekunst | February 11, 2018

17-25 Minute Read

Dating Liberation

John Gutekunst | February 11, 2018

17-25 Minute Read

There are three things to be aware of before you are led to liberation.


Number 1 (one) fan hand glove with finger raised flat vector icon


This is intended only for those of you that are single.


It is not intended for those who are in a committed, exclusive relationship. Although one leads to the other, I hope that you will agree with me that there is a big difference between finding a partner (aka: being "single"), and being in a committed, exclusive relationship with one person.


So, if you're already seeing someone exclusively, please pass this along to your single friends and feel free to stop reading. . . or feel free to keep on reading.


You're an adult and can do what you want.


I have faith in you making the best decision for yourself.



Dating Tip#1: Bad idea for profile picture
Dating Tip#1: Bad idea for profile picture

This article will take about  20 - 25 minutes to read. The first part will take about 13-17 minutes, and the second part (Fact 7) will take about 7-10 minutes.


If you have any interest in finding the passionate relationship that the deepest part of you yearns for, chances are you can create the time to read this... least skim through all seven of the darn things...



Dating Liberation
Dating Tip #2: If you don't like ice cream you'll never find a date.


That last sentence gives you a preview of what you will find throughout this post, as you will find that sometimes intense, exaggerated, and extreme words and statements are used. . . "absolutely must" . . . "fully and completely". . ."deepest part yearns for". . .  This is done for a reason.


Oh. . . and the passion we're talking about is the passion that flows freely both inside and outside of the bedroom.


You DO want that, right!?


Feel free to continue reading if you do.


Let's Begin the Liberation Process

Roller Coaster:

When should I text him/her back?

What does it mean if he/she didn't text me back!?

What do I say in my profile?

What should I say when I approach or contact him/her?

What should we do on the first date?

Should we go exclusive?

Are we moving too fast or too slow?


Tens of thousands of pages could be written about dating advice and dating guidance. There are too many situations to talk about, and the questions above represent only a tiny fraction of the many topics out there.


Needless to say, the wide variety of topics, questions, and concerns all contribute to dating being quite a confusing and frustrating experience for many, many people (including you, perhaps?).


If your experience (or complete lack thereof) with dating and relationships feels like a draining, lonely, frustrating and/or unbearable roller coaster. . . well, please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!


Many, many people struggle with dating, especially in today's fast-paced, heavily-media-influenced, and constantly-full-workload society.


This Sound Good?

Are you interested in freeing yourself and "being liberated" from the emotional roller coaster that dating can be?

How would it sound if the intensity of the emotional distress was ratcheted down from an 8-10+ out of 10.0 to maybe a 2-3?


If that sounds like something you would like, read on...


Not on a Roller Coaster?

For those of you who aren't overwhelmed by the emotional swings of dating . . . but are still single . . . what if there was a different reason that you absolutely should care about what is shared below...?


Would it intrigue you to learn about a bulletproof strategy to completely eliminate the risk of entering into a relationship that you will eventually dread?


Would that perk your interest, at least a little bit?



Roller coaster or not, everyone reading this should know that this strategy is bulletproof and can work for everyone regardless of their dating experience (or complete lack thereof).


In fact. . .


It is 100% guaranteed that this strategy will liberate you from the intense emotional roller coaster dating can be AND/OR help you find the partner and relationship you are yearning for in the deepest part of you!


Yes, that is a bold claim.


That's why it's in bold font.


All joking aside (. . . that last joke was stellar, right!? . . . ), that statement is 100% true and this strategy is 100% guaranteed to work.


Can Work for Everyone

Again, this strategy can work for everyone who is not presently in an exclusive, committed relationship.


It doesn't matter if you've never even been on a date, or if you've been divorced five times. It also can work for gay, straight, bi, and anything and everything in between . . . Again, it can work for e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.


But this strategy is NOT for the faint of heart ! ! !


Actually, this strategy is only for those that want the absolute best that life has to offer and only for those that are NOT willing to settle for less.


You are one of those people, right!?


Well, read on!

Are You Ready? written on running track

Start Here

The entire strategy can’t be outlined in one article.


However, the core of the “Dating Liberation Strategy” can be.


The core of this strategy includes seven key facts.


There are seven key facts that you absolutely must fully and completely incorporate into your "dating mindset" before you learn the entire strategy.


Basically, your dating mindset is the mindset you use in your approach to dating.

It is the guiding values and beliefs that drive everything in your dating life- including the how's, who's, what's, and when's you encounter.


Again, you must first have the proper dating mindset in order to understand the strategy.

Until you have the right dating mindset, learning the entire strategy would be like giving a really sharp sword to a baby.


That's not exactly the safest situation in the world, is it?


Thus, until you fully adopt all seven of these facts about life and dating, it would be a waste of time for you to read the entire strategy.


It is worth noting that what is also implied by this last statement is that. . .


If you do not fully and completely adopt all seven of these facts into your dating mindset (. . . each and every one of them . . .) it will be impossible for you to experience the very best that life has to offer in intimate relationships. 


Yes, that's another bold claim that is bolded, and, yes, it also is 100% true and 100% guaranteed too : )


One Last Thing:

Before the seven facts are shared, one important dynamic that can be outlined about these facts is this:


These seven facts are very powerful.


If you fully adopt these facts, it is very likely that you will figure out the entire strategy for yourself. This means that fully and completely incorporating them into your dating mindset may be the only thing you need to do in order to liberate yourself from the intense emotional roller coaster that dating can be.


In fact...


Fully adopting all seven of these seven facts may be the only thing that you need to do in order to find the best partner for you and create a passionate relationship that deeply fulfills you well beyond your wildest dreams


However, like all things that are powerful, they are not easy to control.


Power scares some people.

Others don't know how to use it.

Some unfortunately abuse it.


Thus, it takes a certain type of person to fully adopt all seven of facts into their dating mindset. Usually that type of person is not willing to settle for less than the absolute best life has to offer.


Again, you ARE that type of person, right!?


Read on!


Fact 1 to Dating Liberation

Fact 1: 

Intimate relationships can be one of the most enjoyable experiences a human being can have.


As you are very likely aware of; love, and therefore the hope of falling in love, is a deeply impactful experience.


There are not many things that have a more powerful influence on humans than love. With the right skills, disciplines, values, and beliefs; an intimate relationship can be one of the most enjoyable and passionate things you will ever experience.


Without these skills, disciplines, values, and beliefs; well. . . many settle for less (ick!) or give up altogether (double ick!!).


Please know that this is not saying that everyone must find or must have an intimate relationship in order to enjoy their life. That is far from the truth. This is saying that having an intimate relationship definitely can be an incredibly amazing experience.


While we're at it, let's highlight that it says "one of the most", not "the most".

This really is a case by case basis / person to person basis.


These clarifications / disclaimers are provided because it is important for you to personally appreciate the nuances and subtleties implicated by saying  "can be" and "one of".


Appreciating the subtle dynamics of a couple words often goes a long way in full understanding.


Fact 2 to Dating Liberation

Fact 2:

The second you stop believing intimate relationships can be deeply enjoyable, unbelievably passionate, and immensely fulfilling is the second you begin to attract potential mates who believe the exact same thing. . . and vice versa.


No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, you will find that this is just one of the weird and mystical ways the universe works. Many times, "like energy attracts like energy", E-S-P-E-C-I-A-L-L-Y in romantic relationships.


Thus, whatever your answers are to these three statements below has a HUGE impact on the type of potential mates you attract and fall for (and your entire life in general, too):

 1) "Men/women are ______". 

2) "Relationships _______". 

3)  The man/woman of my dreams _______." 


* * * Imagine the impact it can have on your entire life if you really, truly believe in the deepest parts of your body, mind, heart, and soul that you CAN indeed find an incredibly passionate and immensely fulfilling relationship! * * *


Please take a moment to let the significance of that to sink in.


"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."


-Henry Ford- 

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

-Henry Ford- 

Fact 3 to Dating Liberation

Dating Liberation
Because Ice Cream is SO GOOD!

Fact 3: 

You don't want just "a relationship". You want an incredibly fulfilling and unbelievably passionate relationship.


Again, the type of passion we're talking about is the passion that flows freely both inside and outside of the bedroom.


We're talking about a passionate and fulfilling relationship where you both can feel the electricity and intense spark at a moments' notice, regardless of the situation.


We're talking about an excitement and deep joy that seems to transcend way beyond your wildest dreams.


If you have the courage and skill to admit it, that IS what you want deep, deep inside, correct?


Well, creating that passion for yourself starts with admitting you want SO. . . MUCH . . . MORE !!! than just "a relationship".  In fact, if you never admit this, you will never get the passion you're looking for deep, deep inside.


It is important to note that this is something that you can't simply admit and "get" intellectually. You have to take action.


This means you have to actively incorporate this fact as an essential piece in the core and foundation of your dating mindset.


That means if you meet someone and find that they have not fully and completely admitted that they too want a passionate relationship, you move on- without hesitation.


They can't just say this when you ask them either.


That's an easy response to come up with, especially when asked about it directly (and especially if they just want to get in your pants).


They have to act on it- just as you do too.


Actions speak much, much louder than words. In dating, this is especially true for both your actions and your potential partner's actions too.


Once you actively incorporate this third fact into your dating mindset, you begin to act in congruency with the deepest part of you.


Acting in accordance with your deepest values, dreams, passions, and desires is very authentic, isn't it?


That deepest part of you is what we'll call your "True Authentic Self".


If acting in line with your True Authentic Self doesn't sound like a good thing to do, please read on to find out why acting in line with the deepest part of you is quite beneficial. . . actually, it is absolutely essential and a requirement that can NOT be skipped.

Fact 4 to Dating Liberation


Fact 4: 

You don’t want to find “a” partner or just “any partner”. You want to find the partner that is the best for you.


It isn't as simple as you fully believing you want a passionate relationship and then meeting someone who also genuinely knows they want a passionate relationship too.


No, unfortunately that isn't the only thing you need to do.


It was said that this strategy is bulletproof. . . it was never said it was simple. . .


Well, I guess it will be as impactful and simple as you allow it to be, but that's a whole other topic. . .


The reality is that you have your own values, beliefs, and aspirations. If you meet someone that conflicts with all or the majority of your most important values, beliefs, and goals; does it really matter if you both want a passionate relationship?


While you ponder the answer to that question, here is another implication from this fourth fact that you may want to know.


How to Avoid a Miserable Relationship

Do you want to avoid being unhappily married, and/or completely eliminate the possibility of finding a miserable relationship like the ones some of your friends and/or acquaintances have that make you dread the thought of even entering into a relationship?


Well, here is the simple and bulletproof strategy to avoid that:

  1. Know what is best for you (IE: know your most important values, beliefs, and goals are),
  2. Find someone else you're attracted to who knows what is best for them (IE: they also know their most important values, beliefs, and goals are) . . .
  3. Then compare your lists of values, beliefs, and goals, and see if they match . . .
  4. If they do, then go make lots and lots of babies!




Okay, not so simple.


Lots and lots of introspection involved on both ends... plus some patience, discipline, self-control, optimism and persistence...


But that isn't worth focusing on right now.

What really matters is this:


If you do create this situation for yourself and find someone who 1) you're attracted to and 2) their most important values, beliefs, and goals match yours. . . don't you think the odds of that being a fulfilling relationship are quite high!?


If you're saying, "Yeah, but that person doesn't exist!!" or something along those lines, you are politely encouraged to re-read Fact #2 🙂

Fact 5 to Dating Liberation

Fact 5: 
The more you know about yourself the easier your dating life will become and the better partner you will find for yourself.


We don't have to get too fancy to support this fact. It is incredibly important to know who "you" are in order to find the best person for you, don't you agree?


Thus, how you finish the statement "I am ______" is another dynamic that has an incredible impact on your dating life, and your overall life in general.


In order for you to have a very thorough understanding of "I am ____" and who "you" are, there are three exercises I highly recommend you do.


This post is long enough, so I intend to do a slightly more detailed post on these exercises in future. If you don't want to wait, feel free to send me an email.


For now, please know this: you do not truly know who "you" are until you do all three of these exercises. 


1) Write out your top values (7-20), ranked in order of importance  (IE: what is important to you in life in general, not a partner, for the purposes of this exercise).

2) Write out your goal(s) in life ("Life Goal(s)") (IE: What type of person do you want to become and be remembered for? How do you want to feel for the majority of your life? These are generally 1-3, very high-level goals. More of a vision statement than a specific mission. . . If you know it, ignore the "S.M.A.R.T." goals framework for this for the most part).

3) Write out your career / business mission.


For all of these exercises, there are a lot of details to each one that would make them more effective.


Again, those details may be shared in a later post. For now, please know that writing these out by hand works the best. Typing on your phone, tablet, or computer also are excellent options. Go ahead and make a PowerPoint slide of them if you want. Just thinking about it is better than nothing, but about 10% as effective as the other options.

Fact 6 to Dating Liberation

Fact 6:

In order to create the passionate relationship you are looking for in the deepest part of your body, mind, heart, and soul; it is absolutely essential for you to be completely true to and congruent with your deepest, true, independent, authentic self.


"Deepest, true, independent, and authentic" are a lot to type.


So "True Authentic Self" will be used instead, and any place that True Authentic Self is used the full phrase "deepest, true, independent, and authentic self" could also be used.


The first five facts have essentially been preparing you for this sixth fact.


The reason is that these first five facts are things you automatically do when you act in congruence with True Authentic self.


Actually, your deepest, true, independent authentic self knows all of the following to be undeniably true:

1) Relationships can be deeply fulfilling.

2) Passionate relationships are definitely possible.

3) You don't want  just "a relationship", but a passionate one.

4) You don't want just "a partner", but the best partner for you.

5) The better you know yourself the easier dating will be AND the better partner you will find for you.


Again, the deepest part of you . .  your "True Authentic Self". . . knows all five of these facts to be undeniably true.


The deepest part of you knows the truth.


It is begging for you to listen to him/her.


If you do listen to your True Authentic Self it is absolutely 100% guaranteed you that your dating life will transform, and you will feel liberated. 


More importantly, it also is 100% guaranteed that doing this will allow you to eventually find a partner and create a relationship that is full of passion on a daily basis.


And, once again, this is the passion that flows inside and outside of the bedroom too.

Fact 7 to Dating Liberation

"All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."


-Arthur Schopenhauer- 

Fact 7:

Facts 1-6 are quite powerful (especially Fact #6), and many of us would like to end there.


But (yeah, there's a but in this situation), there is indeed one final fact that is absolutely essential for you to include into your dating mindset.


Yes- ALL seven facts are required.



Before you read Fact 7, please know that this fact is not the easiest to digest for everyone. In fact, it can be quite upsetting to some people. However, I know from personal experience that it is absolutely necessary to incorporate it  into your dating mindset if you want to experience the maximum level of passion and enjoyment intimate relationships have to offer.


You DO want that maximum level of passion and excitement that intimate relationships can offer, correct?


Again, my job as a coach is not always easy.


Sometimes it is necessary that I share the "tough stuff" with you. Unfortunately, often times going through tough stuff is a step that cannot be skipped if you want to grow and reach higher levels.


So. If you think you are up for it, please click here to read the . . .

Click above for the Seventh Fact to incorporate into your dating mindset.

The Gute Life


If you enjoyed this article, The Gute Life would really appreciate your help. The Best way to help support the Love that we are sharing with the world is to like The Gute Life's facebook page.  Especially for a growing organization, every like and every share goes a long way. Thank you in advance for your support and your Love.


If you enjoyed this article, The Gute Life would really appreciate your help. The Best way to help support the Love that we are sharing with the world is to like The Gute Life's facebook page.  Especially for a growing organization, every like and every share goes a long way. Thank you in advance for your support and your Love.

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